One of the of the largest secrets we strive to keep is a sense of self-governance and self-esteem. The notion or sensation that you are crucial in some distinct way, that you are cherished by a special person, that someone is giving you distinctive attention, these are some of the ego’s very nuanced secrets. We are striving to hide our Sacred Self and are playing all these diverse games, which look to be very disturbing. It is quite depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we try to get scraps of distinctive love, attention and acclaim to prop ourselves up.
We work so hard at turning into “improved people”, at gaining greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be admired more and be more famous. The entire self-help sector is focused on improving the self so you can turn into a better you. That is another gimmick we secretly engage on ourselves, thinking we have to keep spinning our wheels trying to turn into better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very calming when you start to understand that you do not have to turn into any better than you currently are. You were made perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find peace but through self-acceptance.
As I engaged with A Course in Miracles, I could observe that there was a terror of divine love in my mind. I recognized this was the ego’s fear of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being exposed and being viewed as a puff of nothingness. That is the apprehension of intimacy. We speak about this fear in relationships, which is sometimes projected as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a fear of dropping our persona, our mask of uniqueness. It is the dread of getting swept away by a splendid love, a love so powerful that none of us can even fathom something as glorious and mighty!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great consciousness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something wrong, whether you’ve masturbated, taken something, malhandled an individual, or there is something in your mind that you have considered as so hideous that you don’t even want to meet it, you just want to forget about it and push it out of notice.
Below all those recollections and ideas, is the belief that we are parted. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an unfeasible belief, but we think that it is true; We have judged it as ghastly and have pushed it out of notice. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in separation. And as you really give yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally face this hidden belief in separation!
Please, share any ideas and observations with me below, I’d love to hear about your encounter!
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