One of the hugest secrets we attempt to keep is a sense of independence and self-esteem. The idea or feeling that you are significant in some special way, that you are cherished by a special person, that someone is giving you unique attention, these are some of the ego’s very subtle secrets. We are trying to hide our Heavenly Self and are engaging in all these diverse games, which appear to be very disconcerting. It is quite depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we attempt to get scraps of special love, attention and acclaim to prop ourselves up.
We toil so hard at becoming “improved people”, at obtaining greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be appreciated more and be more famous. The entire self-help sector is focused on improving the self so you can grow into a better you. That is another gimmick we secretly partake on ourselves, thinking we have to keep rotating our wheels trying to become better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very calming when you start to understand that you do not have to turn into any better than you currently are. You were created perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find tranquility but through self-acceptance.
As I collaborated with A Course in Miracles, I could notice that there was a fear of divine love in my mind. I realized this was the ego’s dread of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being exposed and being seen as a puff of nothingness. That is the dread of intimacy. We talk about this fear in relationships, which is sometimes depicted as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a terror of dropping our persona, our mask of individuality. It is the dread of getting swept away by a glorious love, a love so powerful that none of us can even envision something as splendid and mighty!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great awareness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something inappropriate, whether you’ve masturbated, swiped something, malhandled an individual, or there is something in your mind that you have judged as so hideous that you don’t even want to face it, you just want to dismiss about it and push it out of notice.
Beneath all those reminiscences and thoughts, is the belief that we are parted. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an unattainable belief, but we assume that it is true; We have considered it as horrific and have pushed it out of notice. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in division. And as you really offer yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally confront this hidden belief in disunion!
Please, share any thoughts and comments with me below, I’d adore to hear about your experience!
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